Words not taken

再聽 Kurumi

2007-07-26T22:29:00.000-04:00

記得初中時，曾跟一位數學老師談起金庸的小說。老師剛入不惑的年紀，四十出頭，出生於大陸，長於台灣，成家於美國。開朗、認真，讓當時還是個英文大字不識幾個的我，倍感親切。

老師對我很照顧，因為我的數學程度不錯，她破歷的讓我不用跟著課堂進度，而可以進修更深度的課程。老師同時也是一個金庸迷。她說過，金庸的小說，是活的，是會跟著讀者一起成長的。她讀金庸幾十年，隨著自己的成長與世故，書中的事與人物，也伴著她，不停的在變。

今天，也不清楚為什麼，舊地重遊，把三年前的歌，“Kurumi”，又重聽了一遍，並找到中文的翻譯歌詞來讀，驚覺歌沒有變，但自己已不是那不識愁為何物的男孩了，已不是記意中的那份感觸了，不禁想起老師的話。

“此情可待成追憶，只是當時已惘然”

----
喂～ Kurumi
這街道的景色在你的眼中是什麼模樣呢？
現在的我看起來又是怎樣？

喂～ Kurumi
若是旁人的關心也讓你聽起來像挖苦似的
那個時候又該怎麼做才好呢？

只是回想起過去美好的一切
卻讓人的心情更自覺得瀕老
在這樣的生活裡頭
如今　我正要動起來了
因為我不想只做個齒輪而已啊
伴隨希望的衍生而增加的失望
即使如此明天的內心依舊悸動
「究竟會發生什麼事呢？」
試著去想像看看吧

喂～ Kurumi
假使時間的河流會將一切給洗刷帶走的話
那生存這件事就變得再容易不過了

喂～ Kurumi
在那之後我一次也不曾讓眼淚流下來
可是　讓我能夠開懷真心的笑卻也很少

不知在哪裡扣錯了
發覺到的時候才知道多了一個鈕扣
就像這樣地要是能和某個有多的鈕扣穴的人相遇
讓一切變得有意義就好了
伴隨邂逅的次數而增加的別離
即使如此內心仍因希望而跳動
每當在走過十字路口的時候
難免也會有迷失方向的時候

總是乞望想擁有比眼前更多
為了追求那不變的愛而高歌
於是齒輪不停轉動
超過必要的負擔讓齒輪一面發出嘎吱的聲響
伴隨希望的衍生而增加的失望
即使如此明天的內心依舊悸動
「究竟會發生什麼事呢？」
試著去想像看看吧
伴隨邂逅的次數而增加的別離
即使如此內心仍因希望而跳動
現在已經不能夠回頭了啊
向前走吧踏上沒有你的這條路
----

都江堰

2007-07-24T00:15:00.000-04:00

新家，新職位，新的生活作習．．．
也不是刻意如此，但就像燒白開水一般，日子一天一天，看來如如不動，燒水時的前十分鐘是沒有動靜的；但改變，如平地一聲雷，水壺尖銳氣笛，是來的快，更是來的驚。

"又是ㄧ個開始！"想到這，一些壓在心上的事，不知不覺，似乎又鬆了些。有些路，還是得自己走。對自己的期望，一種冰雪般的透徹。

Enough about me! 窮書生還是來掉點書包吧。

各位知道李冰的都江堰嗎？

都江堰是人類文明史上，曠古絕今的一項水利工程。實際上，都江堰其實是三個工程的總稱：魚嘴的功用是分開江中的水與沙；將岷江分為內江與外江，內江位於彎道的內側，所以泥沙會流向外江。寶瓶口能引進水源並且控制引水量。而在上游修築的飛沙堰，則將過多的洪水和泥沙排回外江。

整個過程中，最重要的一環，就是寶瓶口壅水段的保持。經過魚嘴與飛沙堰的引導和排流，少數的泥沙還是會進入寶瓶口。放任泥沙的淤積，都江堰是用不了兩千年的。

所以每年，冬季枯水時，岷江都會進行疏浚和掏淤的工程。

想想，人的心，何嘗不是如此。過多的沙雖然可由飛沙堰引走，但有些心裡的沙，還是得靠自己去清理。

最後，在給大家講個故事。話說許多許多年前的一晚，在黃州（湖北省東部，長江北岸），蘇大學士在一個為他而瓣的餞行宴上，被一位叫做李琪的歌女要求在她的披肩上提一首詩。蘇軾在黃州沒有聽過李琪的名字。他讓李琪磨墨，順手在披肩上提開兩行平淡無奇的開頭：

＂東坡四年黃州住，何事無言及李琪。＂

寫完，蘇軾繼續喝他的酒，談他的天。眾人心想，或許蘇學士今天狀況不佳，且詩又還沒有寫完。過一下，李琪再一次上前，要求蘇東坡寫完。東坡帶著微微的酒意，提筆一揮，寫下：

＂卻似西川杜工部，海堂雖好不吟詩。＂

千古才子微醺時所流入出的漫不經心的美感，微妙的恭維這個少女，留下了另一個不朽。

＂海堂雖好不吟詩＂－　寫的好！

讀詩後的意識流

2007-07-18T00:03:00.000-04:00

為什麼要分離？

眼淚不會說話，但，從她臉頰上的液體倒映中，他彷彿看見自己在問，為何分離？如何能夠這樣決定？她的眼淚如她眼中的深邃一般，透明，卻絲毫不見清晰。

－－－

＂黯然消魂者，唯別而已矣＂

楊過在絕情谷等不到小龍女，而太陽已下山．．．
張無忌與小昭被迫分手，小昭乘著船，緩緩飄去．．．
蕭峰抱著已死去的心愛阿朱，徘迴在青石橋邊．．．

－－－

妳的一切在今日始終是我的流浪
我只好用詩尋找流失的歸屬
下筆才發現盡是情意的斷句

－－－

"眼見得眼見得那青梗
一路細弱的彎下去彎下去
是不能承受歲月與香氣的重量吧

搖落安足論
瘦與孤清，乃至
輾轉反側。只恨無新句
如新葉，抱寒破空而出
趁他人未說我先說"

-周夢蝶 (花心動之二)

－－－

信否？路是天下有心人
大手握小手
一步一步走過來的

Wang's Magnificent Sinker

2007-07-17T17:51:00.001-04:00

With my new rotation in Structure Credit starting in less than 2 weeks, my manager has relieved me of my daily responsibilities. Instead, I am to focus on regression testing in preparation for a major system upgrade next month and to concentrate on documenting and refining existing procedures and reports that I’ve come into contact with over the last year. It’s a rather boring role, really – writing procedures, implementing new macros, building spreadsheets, etc. And after 7-hours of them your brain turns into this jelly/glue/sulfuric dust mixture. So in a mighty effort to resuscitate myself, here’s a brief musing on Chien-Ming Wang’s pitching repertoire.

Chien-Ming Wang is a power sinkerball pitcher. By “power” I mean his fastball usually sits in the mid 90’s, and his sinker in the low 90’s. We often marvel at young pitchers who can throw fastballs that clock at 96, 98, even 100 mph (refer to affectionately by baseball people as “heat”.) But to quote Bill James (the father of modern sabermetrics), “speed for a pitcher is like looks for a girlfriend. It is meaningful but not determinative.” So a fastball pitcher, to be effective on the big-league level, must have more than just speed. He has to either develop an off-speed pitch (usually a change-up) to mix-in with his fastball, or to incorporate movements into his fastball. Wang's sinker is a fastball that moves. The ball is released with an over-the-top, then outside-in, flip of the wrist. It is gripped along the the two seams, and released as hard as possible.

So why is it so hard to hit, you asked? Well, Wang's pitch is not hard to hit, as evidenced by his low strike-out count. However, it's devilishly hard to hit his pitches well on a consistent basis. His sinker "explodes" in on the hands. The bottom of the ball falls out, and at times it seemed as if batters are having a very difficult time lifting the ball up out of the infield. When you combine a late-action 94mph sinker with a 96mph rising fastball and good controls, you have yourself a very effective ground-ball machine in Chien-Ming Wang.

And that concluded our little baseball musing of the day. Thank you all very much for staying with me.

"Strikeouts are boring - besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic."
~From the movie Bull Durham

Awakenings: What does it mean to be "alive"?

2007-07-13T14:28:00.000-04:00

The movie opens with a scene from a Brooklyn street in the mid 20's. The Great Depression was at its zenith, but for the 8 year-old boy Leonard, that is as far away from him as the moon. He lived his day like most kids in the city - moving joyfully between school, playgrounds, and supper at home. But soon he was gripped by something far more personal and sinister than the Depression - the Encephalitis Epidemic.

Fast-forward 36 years. Leonard was a resident at a psychiatric institute in Bronx. We do not know what we see when we look at Leonard. He stays frozen in the same position , day after day after day, unable to speak, unable to move. There are other residents like him, and neither the doctors nor the patients' love ones know what goes inside their mind. Could they be thinking inside? "Of course not," as one neurologist says in the beginning of this movie. Why not? "Because the implications of that would be unthinkable."

The static of the hospital is one day broken by a new doc in town, Dr. Sayer. Like his patient in many ways, he shuns from human touch, preferring instead the company of books and himself. He is shut off by shyness and inexperience, and even the way he holds his arms, close to his sides, shows a man wary of contact.

What then unfolds between Dr. Sayer and his catatonic patients is a summer of miraculous rebirth. The patients are awaken by a new experimental drug after more than thirty years of self-captivity. They were filled with wonder and gratitude to be able to movie and express themselves freely.

But it is not as simple as that. And as the movie unfolds, We are invited to meditate on the strangeness and wonder of the human personality. The movie reminds me of the book "Flowers for Algernon", and it beckons me to wonder: who are we? How much of this "self" that we center our lives around may simply be a result of luck, of being spare from neurological happenstance such as Alzheimer's or Encephalitis? If one has no hope, which is better: To remain hopeless, or to be given hope and then lose it again? I was moved by the extraordinary courage of the patients, especially Leonard, for bracing what life has to give, be it good or bad. In many ways, the movie is itself an "rebirth" experience. I am alive! I have freedom! I can be happy! So I will grow, so live, so die.

"那薔薇。你說。你寧願它
從來不曾開過。

與惆悵同日生：
那薔薇。你說。如果
開必有落，如果
一開即落，且一落永落"

-周夢蝶 (花心動之一)

炎炎夏夜

2007-07-10T00:36:00.000-04:00

冷氣機宣告罷工的夜晚．．．

思緒的殘念像花瓶般被打碎
我試著將你拼湊完整
補綴、黏附、加上適度的焊接

汗水像雨一滴一滴的下
多年前購買的書等待被閱讀
想像你先前不願提及的傷痛與陌生

晚風吹來還有牡丹香的氣息
我看得見你背後街燈搖曳
自動錶針慢下來心卻還沒有死

南柯一夢卻是該歇腳的時候
不用說報歉而你也累了
夏夜言言一再的醒來
溫柔的月光俯下身來安慰你

．．．．．

「唯有寂寞能夠長保清醒，
唯有清醒能夠永耐寂寞。」

熱的睡不著，只能想著余光中的這句話，亂胡一通，記錄那一瞬的心境。

晚安。

一年又一年

2007-02-17T01:56:00.000-05:00

派對結束了。

今晚的年度聚餐，熱鬧依舊，但大夥的笑聲中，卻多了一份傷感。

原因，不外乎別的，是因為大阿姨的美華排骨，在營業二十八年後，將在明天劃上休止符。

大阿姨是一個很稱職的老闆。她對員工，只要是肯賣力的，一定報予等值的待遇。所以跟了她的員工，都跟的久，跟的安心。在美華上班的阿姨、叔叔們，背後幾乎都有一個故事。但到了這裡，得到了一種安定。今晚，從他們不捨的臉上，我看到一種超越雇主與員工的感情。

我們家的人，one time or another，都在這裡打過工，包括我（送外賣、洗鍋子），弟弟（剝蛋、裝辣椒、洗碗、堂食），甚至三毛姨丈，四阿姨，跟媽媽。一家店，由因緣而起，因緣而終，卻也造就了無數的因緣。So many memories revolve around this place. I guess I'm gonna miss it, not just for the chicken leg :).

Counting the Loot (that one in the middle is the bingo jackpot; Johnny Boy is treating dinner :P)

Beauty in the House!

Cousins and Bro: From top left to bottom right - Sophia, Mike, Annie, John, Lily, Danny, and Susanna.

呆子土地公

2007-02-14T00:51:00.000-05:00

窮書生又要講古了。

話說許久以前，在一處偏僻的地方，有兩座不大不小的山。南邊的山上，住著一個土地公﹔北邊的山上，也住著一個土地公。南山的土地公廟建的早，所以北山的土地公，見到南山的土地公，都稱他一聲哥哥。

地處偏僻，兩座廟又建在山上，所以兩個土地公公難得吃的到好的。他倆可能是當時比較瘦的土地公吧。

有一天，南山土地公（簡稱＂南公＂）看到一個牧童打廟前經過，靈機一動，就悄悄的對牧童吹了一口氣。牧童回家後，開始了不知名的發燒。他的父母心裡著急，在牧童身旁守了兩天兩夜，就在第三天的晚上，牧童說話了：

＂我是南山上的土地公。你們的小孩再上山的時候，著了妖氣。只要在我廟前的樟樹幹上，刨一片樹皮回來煮湯喝下去，就會好了。＂

牧童的父母照著作，果然，湯一下肚，燒就退了。牧童的父母準備了豐勝的酒菜帶到廟前供奉。當晚，南公邀請了北公一同來打打牙祭。

酒過三巡，菜過五味，北公奈不住好奇心，抹抹嘴上的油，問起大哥。南公一五一十的說了。北公心中酩記，準備事後也來套這麼一招。

只是這北山土地公腦袋不怎麼靈光。過不了多久，另一個牧童打廟前經過。北公如法炮製。只是當牧童的父親拿著柴刀到了廟前時，這個父親抓了抓腦袋，不知如何是好。

－北山土地廟前，看不到樟樹啊！

父親想著在家生病的小孩，正在那發愁的時後，往土地公的神像一睹，突然想到，土地公公的像是樟木作的啊！
＂真是偉大的的土地公公！＂父親在心裏感激的想。但他在神像前看了許久，想在前劈也不是，後也不是，突然靈機一動，把神像翻過來，往屁股上一刀砍下去。

＂唉喲，我的老天爺啊！＂北公在心裡苦叫。但他心想，為那一桌豐盛的酒菜，屁股挨著一下也算值得。那知這家人很窮，買不起酒菜，帶著牧童在土地廟前磕了幾個頭，就走了。

北山土地公公拖著發疼的屁股，一拐一拐的去找南山大哥。南公聽了之後笑的不支倒地。

＂哈哈哈．．．．！你也真是個呆子啊！＂

－－－－

在聽完這個很無聊的故事，我們學到兩件事：
１　土地公是有求必應的，但前提是肚子得餵飽。　：ｐ
２　土地公是會開玩笑的，大有時候玩笑會很呆，因為土地公本身也很呆。　：）

Excellence is not an act, but a habit.

2007-02-11T08:41:00.000-05:00

Saw this commercial a few days ago while watching a televised knicks game in grandpa's house, and I was immediately impressed by the simple elegance of the commercial. It also helps that Yao, one of my favorite player, is the subject of the commercial.

An Article on Taiwanese Politics

2007-02-06T01:12:00.000-05:00

In my view, one of the potentally gravest pitfalls of democratic political involvement is when the people - the ultimate servee and server of the system - begin to take the system itself for granted. They either take its benefit as given, or they see its flaws as something immutable and attempt nothing to correct it. I see the Taiwanese Political Transformation as one of the greatest social experiment of the modern era. For it has shown, and is still showing, the process by which democracy takes root in a country previous ran by a authoritarian government and whose culture , 5000 years + and counting, is often though of by cynics as unfit for democratization. This article, written by a very well-known Taiwanese political and social thinker, was written in response to the recent controversy surrounding Ma Ying Jiu and the so-called "special purpose fund". One can either agree or disagree with her views and her displeasure with Ma's rash decision to resign (afterall that's what democracy is for), but you cannot doubt that it is written with care, earnesty, and intelligence. It is certainly thought-provoking, and in this day and age, that is of the utmost importance.

路走得寬闊，人顯得從容

【龍應台】自首報告

當2006年底馬英九的特支費成為一個司法事件之後，我才知道，原來首長特支費中不需收據的那一半，可能並非首長薪水的一部分而是公務費，不能匯入個人薪資。英九，可能因此被檢察官起訴。罪名，可能是貪汙。

我太驚訝了。從1999年秋天踏進台北市政府成為台北市的首任文化局長開始，我的特支費的一半，3萬4000元，就是每個月直接匯入薪資帳戶的。秘書作業自動處理，沒問過我，也沒有任何人告訴過我還有其他的可能作法。我倒是記得跟公務員同仁有一段對話。

Continue...

AIDS in China

2007-02-03T18:18:00.000-05:00

Imagine yourself a normal farmer living your days pretty much as your father and your grandfather had lived it. Your world consists of essentially your home, your crops and field, your family, and those villagers that you called friends.

Then one day, at the urge of local village officials, you were told to sell your plasma. You weren't sure what procedures are involved, but since life for a rural farmer is hardly poetry, you scrap whatever money opportunity you can find. And hey, village officials and the doctors said it's O.K., so it must be alright, right?

Later, much later, you were told, along with dozens, if not hundreds of your fellow villagers, that you were infected with HIV. No officials came to explain or take responsibility for your affliction; no one, except a few doctors came to the village for treatment. You were forced to stay in the village, forbidden any communication with outsiders, and your existence, along with those of your infected villagers, were seem as an annoyance, an eyesore to that giant capitalist machine we call "China". And soon, you feared, you will die and be forgotten, like those neglected fields not far off in the distance.

......

Read this article last week:
http://www.economist.com/world/asia/displaystory.cfm?story_id=E1_RVVQSSR&login=Y
(if the site asks for login, use "chhpotter@yahoo.com" for username and "chien" for password.)

I've always held a contempt for the Chinese government, or for that matter, a contempt for any government that refuse to admit to its mistakes and chose oppression over communication, secrecy over transparency. I am proud to be a Chinese (for the cultural heritage in my veins), just as I'm proud to be a Taiwanese (for the beautiful land upon which I was born and raised). 我對中國，有著一種泅於血中，深切厚重的情感。但透過這篇報導，我看見這個我懷有深重情感的土地，卻是一個踐踏我所有價值認同的國度。A passage in 龍映台's 《請用文明說服我》came painfully to mind:

"它，把真理當謊言，把謊言當真理，而且把這樣的顛倒制度化。
它，把獨立的知識分子當奴才使用，把奴性的知識分子當家僕使用，把奴才當─啊，它把鞭子、戒尺和鑰匙，交到奴才的手裏。
它面對西方是一個臉孔，面對日本是另一個臉孔，面對台灣是一個臉孔，面對自己，又是一個臉孔。
它面對別人的歷史持一個標準，它面對自己的歷史時─錯了，它根本不面對。它選擇背對自己的歷史。
它擁抱神話，創造假象，恐懼真相。他最怕的，顯然是它自己。"
．．．．

As a part-time economist, I can say without any attempt at exaggeration that China's economic growth for the last 2 decades is one of the most impressive transformations in modern civilization. But no country is respectable until it treats its people with respect, for a country should exist for no other reason than to serve the welfare of its people. Lastly, to again quote Prof. Lung,

"請用文明說服我，我願意誠懇傾聽。＂

月光中翩翩飛舞的蝴蝶

2007-01-29T21:53:00.000-05:00

Found this while cleaning up my hard drive. It was originally intended to be published in a S/G's community newspaper, but due to your dear 窮書生's unparalleled procrastinating skill, it didn't make it to print, and I exhaled a sigh of relief :p. The words does not do justice to the beautiful music nor Joanne's wondrous talent, but at the very least it serves as a keepsake of a wonderful time that we all spend together.

．．．．．

月光中翩翩飛舞的蝴蝶 – 記張瓊文卡內基鋼琴獨奏會

三月二十一日傍晚，擁有哥倫比亞教師學院博士學位的台灣年輕鋼琴家張瓊文(Joanne)在卡內基音樂廳威爾演奏廳舉行個人演奏會，曲目設計保持了她一貫的風格，從巴哈工整的英國組曲、德布西的『貝加馬斯組曲』、鋼琴版的『梁祝』、到最後澎湃、辛辣的普羅科耶夫，Joanne 在這次演奏會中充分的展現出她多方位的音樂才能．

所有曲目中，筆者印象最深刻的，首推德布西的『貝加馬斯組曲』．這是德布西早期的作品，譜寫於一八九零年．德布西既是法國印像樂派的代表，他的音樂首重感受與情意，給人的感覺是一種氣氛．Joanne 在節奏方面掌握的非常好，從前奏的壯麗到第三首『月光』，曲線細緻，充分捕捉到月亮那稍縱即逝，模糊朦朧的感覺．月光在最初的八小節中緩緩下降；茫漠的世界，有著柔和的光輝．最後，主題被段片般的支解，在一樣茫漠的印象中終止．

緊跟著『貝加馬斯組曲』是這次演奏會的重頭戲，由Ｉ－Ｌｉｎ　Ｓｕｎ　所改編的鋼琴版『梁祝』．這個版本以一台鋼琴來表現整個交響樂團的音域，對演奏者來說是一大考驗．結構上，依舊忠於１９５９年的原作，大致分為呈示部（愛情主題、求學、到長亭惜別），展示部（抗婚、哭靈、投墳），到最後的再現部（化牒）。在原版中由小提琴所演湊的愛情主題，這次由鋼琴詮釋，別有一番風味。最後的投墳段落，音樂急轉而下，演奏激昂而果斷，鋼琴聲裡彷彿聽到了英台呼天嚎地，悲痛欲絕的控訴。最後，我們又聽到那段熟悉的＂愛情主題＂琴聲多次移調，起伏中，彷彿看到了蝴蝶在空中翩翩起舞．

一個父親和兒子的故事

2007-01-24T22:58:00.000-05:00

這個父親是一位聞名世界的導演。

他的電影，陪伴了一整個時代的人的成長。只是這個父親，卻錯過了自己兒子的童年。

而兒子對父親的記憶，是用第三人稱建立起來的：
＂你父親的作品真感人．．．＂
＂我是看你的父親的電影長大的．．．＂
＂真棒，我也希望有一個天才的父親．．．＂
．．．
兒子長大了後，成為了一個庭園設計家，刻意的避開了父親的事業。
但創作的動力，泅在他的血液裡。這是沒有辦法改變的。
一次巧妙的機緣下，兒子在一部父親醞釀已久的電影中當上導演。
父親對公司的這個決定感到強烈的反對，毅然決然退出了這次的拍攝。父子倆在接下來的幾個月中，沒說過一句話。
．．．
時間快轉，電影首映結束後，兒子走上講台，準備對在場的來賓致詞。
不久前，兒子才從一位與父親共事數載的伯伯口中得知，父親來了。
雖然伯伯也說，父親在電影結束後，就走了。但他還是試著在人群中找尋父親的身影。
上台前，伯伯遞了一張紙條給他，寥寥數字，是父親的筆跡：
＂拍的坦率，誠實；很好的電影。＂
兒子的眼框濕了．．．

兒子的名字，叫宮崎吾朗。他的父親，單名一個字，＂駿＂。

－－－

This is a trailer of Studio Ghibli's latest film, called "Tales from Earthsea". The story is adopted from a popular fantasy series of the same name by Ursula Le Guin. The song played in the background is sung by Aoi Teshima. Not yet 18 when the film was made, she sang with a clean, immaculate voice that's simply mesmerizing. She's also the voice actor for the main character Therru.

瑟魯之歌詞：宮崎吾朗曲：谷山浩子

在近黃昏的雲層上總是孤單飛翔著
老鷹應該很悲傷吧
在無聲無息的風中抓住天空的它的羽翼
無法休息
把心比喻成什麼好呢像老鷹般的這顆心
把心比喻成什麼好呢在空中飛舞的悲傷

在細雨飄落的岩石邊總是小小的開著
花朵應該很痛苦吧
在色彩迷濛的雨中淺粉紅色的花瓣
無人撫摸
把心比喻成什麼好呢像花朵般的這顆心
把心比喻成什麼好呢受風吹雨打的苦痛

在無人煙的野徑上和我並肩行走著
你也一定很寂寞吧
在蟲兒低喃的草原一起前行的人們
無話可說
把心比喻成什麼好呢單獨前往的這顆心
把心比喻成什麼好呢孤獨一人的寂寞

What is the Matrix Retreat?

2007-01-22T00:03:00.000-05:00

Experiment:
1 Zen Buddhist Monk
1 Psychologist
4 dedicated counselors
some involving paricipants
a bunch of 11- to 14- year-old kids (with energy to spare)
2 days in a secluded countryside
20 degree F, with biting winds
And what do you have?

...

A retreat that suprises, perplexes, is sometimes annoying, sometimes insightful, and never, never boring.

Kudos to Pete and Kuo Jeun FaShih, who led some thoughtful discussions; to Anny and Joanne, whose charm and grace no doubt had a calming effect on the more energetic bunch; to all other volunteers, who made this retreat possible; and to the kids, always illuminating.

It was a wonderful weekend.

“The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness.

If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.”
-From “The Prophet” by Khalil Gibran

周星星笑哉!

2007-01-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

Chanced upon this on Youtube yesterday. Some of you may have seen it already, but if you haven't, it's a hell of a good laugh :).

And in response to Eatgod's recent comment (愛妳一萬年 remains my favorite line from any movie, and 朱茵 one of my favorite actresses), here's another one of his timeless jokes:

"我最近發明了一種東西，相信可以幫你。手電筒？錯！這一支不是普通的手電筒，這一支是不需要電池的太陽能手電筒！在有光的時候它就會亮！那如果沒有光的時候......絕對不亮！有沒有可能沒有光的時候它也會亮？問得好！關燈。哪~~你拿出另外一支手電筒來照它呢，它就會亮......嘿~~怎麼樣哪？開燈！這個發明還真有創意啊！"

雨夜

2007-01-14T02:21:00.000-05:00

一滴．．兩滴．．三滴．．滴滴落下來．．

下雨的晚上，夜總是讓人覺得比較深。平日的矯情不在，取而代之的是更深沉，更原始的一種感觸。’君問歸期未有期，巴山夜雨漲秋池。何當共翦西窗燭，卻話巴山夜雨時。’其實，要說美，實在沒什麼美的。屋外泥擰，屋內寒氣透身。但，就在這時候，被雨聲阻隔的寂寞，讓想像變的專注，遙遠。黯淡的燈光，透過冰冷冰冷的玻璃窗﹔窗上，房裡熱氣呵成一片霧，看不遠，卻又覺得看的很深。用手指劃去窗上的霧氣，雨一滴，一滴的下。新的霧氣上來，繼續用手指劃，劃著劃著，終於劃出思念中的名字．．．

千江共一月

2007-01-08T22:40:00.001-05:00

窮書生講古．．．

佛經＂四世因果論＂裡的一個故事：

話說古印度，世尊的時代。阿育王在一次盛大的宴會中邀請天下人、眾尊者共食。人群中，唯獨不見烰爐尊者。

宴會一連數天數夜。烰爐尊者一直到最後一天的晚上，眾人皆以散去的時候方到達阿育王的宮殿。

王問：『尊者為何故而遲來？』
尊者答曰：『為赴天下人之宴。』
王又問：『單身一人如何赴天下人之宴？』

烰爐尊者不說話，抬頭仰望。這時天色已晚，月明星稀。尊者做一偈答了王：
『千山同一月，萬戶盡皆春；
千山有水千江月，萬里無雲萬里天．．．』

－－－－－－－

這就是蕭麗紅＂千山有水千江月＂小說書名的出處。

此書講故鄉之情，家族之情，乃至貞觀與大信的感情，無依不是細膩，縈懷。縱使結局令人覺得過於倉促，整體而言，卻是一個餘味無窮的好故事。

對這偈（ｊｉ４　ｏｒ　ｊｉｅ２？both seems to be right）的解釋，每個人，因為自己感觸與經歷的差異，一定會有所不同。這本是佛法應有的深度。有江就有水，有水就有月，月亮是緣起，倒映在水中的，是有情。他們不是對立的。

”佛如天上月，本來如如不動，不來人間，有水之處，皆現其影。佛之法身，如如不動，隨眾生心，水清見佛，應身出世。＂

大觀

2007-01-01T07:27:00.000-05:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/28/arts/design/28muse.html?_r=1&ref=arts&oref=slogin

感謝Leigo，在回紐約的前夕給我報這麼一個好料，讓我在星期五的一大早，又跑了一次士林。

這次去故宮，是帶著朝聖的心情去的。不為什麼，只因在此次「大觀」的特別展覽中，有蘇軾，更有宋人達中華文化之巔的善本書輯，書法拓本，及北宋窯器。

就如同NY Times所說的，這是一次矌世之展。故宮館藏數載不見的文物，加上世界各地博物館所借來，一次展出。因為是星期五，沒有本地的人，卻有成堆成群的日本、美國、韓國，以及大陸的觀光客。我就跟著他們，看北宋山水畫的震撼，看『雨過天青』的汝窯釉色，看宋人的煥爛書法；在蘇東坡的『書前赤壁賦』前徘徊不以，不能自己。

宋徽宗的『瘦金體』書法。A horrendous emperor, but he sure was gifted.

天下三大行書之一－蘇軾的寒食詩

范寬的『谿山行旅圖』

蘇體（以蘇軾書寫的版本所印）的妙法蓮華經

『雨過天青雲破處，者般顏色做將來

假期

2006-12-26T19:35:00.000-05:00

臺北，慵懶的午後，永和某個咖啡館⋯

窗外，下著細雨。就像baseball的慢動作重播一般，所有的動作慢了下來，
慢的讓人有點不能接受。

紐約十二載，自己的步調早以被設了最低速限，慢不下來。
以效率之名，速度常讓人感到渺小、無助。

如今，一場雨，
讓所有的景物都慢了下來，
Vacation... 總算有了放假的感覺。

墾丁海邊

很大的ㄉㄧ。ㄎㄚ，還滿好吃的。

家前市場一景

法鼓山，大雨中的觀音池

My family in the U.S. - Thirty-strong and growing!

2006-12-09T23:06:00.000-05:00

This picture was taken during Aunt Ching Ching's wedding exactly one month ago. My maternal family, the Won family, is shown here with all but two of its current members (Tom, my good gracious cousin, is currently in Taiwan, working for a software company in the HsingChu Industrial Park. HaiJiang, my ninth and final uncle-to-be, is in Shanghai, attending a Physics Conference.)

It would be great story to tell, of three generations of Won family and its journey across the sea, from my grandfather's humble beginning in Wen Zhou to a magnificent banquet in the City of New York. Alas, sleep beckons, and it'll be another story to tell in another time. Good night everyone.

意境的片刻，化為永恆

2006-12-03T23:00:00.000-05:00

詩人為什麼要寫詩？

最近一直在想這個問題。

古人慣把詩人叫做＂騷人墨客＂，彷彿寫詩一定是先要有滿腹牢騷，才寫的出來。自己有時也不得不認同。似乎寫詩，不是矯情，就是吃飽沒事幹，自愛自憐，無病聲吟。

最近，一份奇特的緣分，生命在一天一天的過程中轉了彎，才發覺，詩，是藉由文字，將感觸及意境的片刻，化為永恆。

當然，有介於每個人的才情，背景的不同，有人看到月亮，會唱＂天頂的月娘＂，有人會問＂明月幾時有＂，還有人，仰頭望月，心裡想的卻是如月的佳人。

不管怎樣，只要感覺的夠深，那一個當下，就是永恆。

一０八四年，蘇東坡羈旅黃州，烏台詩案的餘震未去，他卻在這片貧瘠的土地，看到平淡的幸福。刻薄的筆勢不在，取而代之的，是光輝，溫暖，成熟的豁達。大約在這個時候，蘇東坡寫下了前後赤壁賦，以及一篇較少人知道的短記，’記承天夜遊’。因為篇幅的限制，赤壁賦是講不來的　（應該有人已經看不下去了吧：））但一篇短記倒是可以：

元豐六年十月十二日，夜，解衣欲睡，月色入戶，欣然起行。念無與為樂者，遂至承天寺，尋張懷民。懷民亦未寢，相與步于中庭。庭下如積水空明，水中藻荇交橫，蓋竹柏影也。何夜無月，何處無竹柏，但少閑人如吾兩人者耳。

漫不經心的魅力。短短數行，卻是那一瞬間心境的最佳詮釋。我想，這就是永恆吧。

祝各位，不論是在用功還是在玩，都能感覺身邊不經意的美好。只要有心，任何一刻，都是詩。

造句

2006-12-02T09:05:00.000-05:00

妹妹的中文功課開始有造句練習。
禮拜四，母親跟妹妹坐在書桌前，準備又一個長期抗戰。
第一個詞：媽媽

妹：媽咪，這個要怎麼做啊？
媽：（想了一下）妳可以寫＂我媽媽好漂亮喔！＂
妹妹聽了，一時沒有反應。她斜著頭，彷彿陷入了很深的思考．．．
－
妹：＂我．媽．媽．好．胖．喔．！＂
@#$%^&*()．．．
唉呀，有人皮在癢了。: )

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　上個月生日，與家人一同吹　＂蛋糕＂

Charlotte, Thanksgiving, 及其它

2006-11-23T16:39:00.000-05:00

Your dear working stiff has been quite occupied of late.

It's hard to pinpoint the exact source of my preoccupation. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I can't seem to sit down and just write something. Even now, writing this long-overdue blog, I felt the strongest urge to just stop and go back to my little wonderland of reading and aimless daydreaming.

But back to the topic of this blog. About 3 weeks ago, I took my very first business trip down to Charlotte, North Carolina, and see for myself the company that is Bank of America, my current employer.

It was a jam-packed 4-day trip of conferences, speaker series, business modules, and networking events.

New hirees from Corporate and Investment banking were introduced to many of our senior leaderships, including our CFO, J. Alphin; J. Martin, our corporate treasurer (who manage the bank's balance sheet. That's ALOT of money!) and of course, Ken Lewis, the Chairman and CEO of Bank of America. To meet and been given the opportunity to talk with these people gives one a clear idea of the company's identity and its direction. All of them exhibit a down-to-earth quality that I enjoyed. But theirs is still a traditional bank mentality, and whether the bank's approach in retail and corporate will work the same in investment banking is something that only time will tell.

On this trip I was also given the opportunity to see both sides of the bank, the old and the new. I saw our high-yield fixed income trading floor, an expansive, aircraft-hangar style room with all the hustle and bustle that's your typical wall-street; to counter that is our check processing facility, which still employs "sorters" - people whose job is to proof checks, one at a time, with machines that were invented back in the 40's. As you can imagine, these experience provided 窮書生 with many things to think about, not least of which is the future of one's career.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I came across an article last week that describes an French newspaper clipping from long ago that tries to explain Thanksgiving, Continental style. Besides a short and comical portrait of the Pelerins and their first year in Plymouth, the clipping concludes (originally in French, of-course),

"And so, on the fourth Thursday in November, American families sit down at a large table brimming with tasty dishes and, for the only time during the year, eat better than the French do."
:)
(Have to agree with this French dude here, after the feast we've had yesterday.)

For the record, and in the spirit of le Jour de Merci Donnant, I'd like to thank my family and my friends, for who I was, who I am, and who I can become. And last but not least, thanks also to Mr. T.S. Eliot, whose poetry proves yet again, that there can be magic in words.

Good night.

"With the drawing of this Love and the voice of this
Calling,

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."

- From "Little Gidding" by T.S. Eliot.

A picture of the trading floor viewed from above.

Cephalopod Dispelled!

2006-07-16T09:26:00.000-04:00

In lieu of the ambiguation that took place recently surrounding octopus, squid, and cuttlefish, 窮書生 had decided to be the nerdy one (as always) and take upon himself to sort out the mumble jumble. So here it is, brace yourself for some seriously boring stuff.

Octopus (章魚), a class Cephalopod of the order Octopoda, is a boneless invertebrate characterized by eight arms with suction cups, a large head, and a beak-like mouth that is the only solid part of its body.

Squid (魷魚), a class Cephalopod of the order Teuthida, has eight arms but also scores two large tentacles. A squid also uses a beak-like mouth to feed and can eject a smoke of black ink to protect itself, similar to an octopus.

Cuttlefish (墨魚, 花枝, 烏賊), a class Cephalopod of the order Sepiida, is similar to squid in body structure but are generally smaller and carries internal shell.

So what is the kraken (in Pirates of the Carribeans)?

From above description, we can conclude that the kraken belongs to neither of the three orders. It has eight arms and 2 tentacles, so that comes from the squid; it has a soft, boneless structure similar to octopus; and its toothy, maw-like mouth comes from that sand beast at the beginning of Return of the Jedi .

Octopus are perhaps the most intelligent of all invertebrate. Study shows that they are capable of solving complex puzzles, retain both short-term and long-term memories, and when kept as pet can often break out of the aquarium by practice and gile.

In terms of size, the biggest known giant octopus weighted about 600 pouds, and has arms that averaged 5 meters. The largest giant squid currently known is 8.56 meters long, and is currently been preserved in the Natural History Museum in London.

And that concludes it, thank you all staying through this!

Position determined!

2006-06-08T01:16:00.000-04:00

Just got an email today from BoA with the assignment of my first rotation. I'll be working in Liquid Product (whatever that is!) in the Global Middle Office. The office is located on 49th St and Broadway. Here is a description from Employee's website:

Description:
This is a great opportunity for someone looking to gain experience in the world of global foreign exchange. The analysts will gain exposure in the following departments:

- FX Option Trade Support
- FX Option P&L
- FX P&L

Responsibilities include performing GFX functions such as generating reports, performing P&L and reconciliation functions and using Murex and Sierra for FX and FX Option transactions.

Daily tasks include the accurate and timely entry of information, maintaining productivity levels and ensuring deadlines are kept. The successful candidate will be expected to work on projects as assigned while keeping up with daily responsibilities.

Competencies/Skills Analyst will develop during their rotation:

- Basic knowledge of the products (FX, derivative)
o Understanding of Trading and Sales practices
o Understanding of the both front end and back end of GFX
o Knowledge of the P&L concept and reconciliation

I guess it's official now - 窮書生 is 窮書生 no more. But what should I call myself from now on? Working stiff is not a bad alternative - but it doesn't convey the sense of futility and self-deprecating pride that made 窮書生 such an unique existence in any society. Hmmm, what a pickle!

For today's post, I'm putting up a poem I'd written for the TC mother's day performance. Most of you have already heard it. In fact, most of you may have heard it too many times. The poem was written over a 720-ml bottle of Chukubei Sake, a pack of Skittles, and a few slices of Gouda Cheese. Personally I much prefer those passages about 生命的母親 than those about 慧命的母親. I've never met Master, and until I do I know I'll never be able to accurately capture her radiance in words. All these flowery words in the end meant nothing, sadly. It's tough writing for an audience.

母親

我有一位生命的母親
溫柔如春雨，她的笑容是雨後的虹
堅強似大樹，她的雙臂是捧月的星

我有，我有一位慧命的母親
莊嚴如晨曦，她的聲音是涓涓水聲
崇高似明月，她的顏容是莽莽大地

生命的母親
您的柔光
來自心中的太陽
照亮歸途
遊子的鄉愁在您的方向

慧命的母親
您的悲懷
來自救贖的渴望
菩薩的願
蒼生的苦您的肩上扛

我在心中慢慢的想－
生命初生時恩情
我在心中遍遍的唱－
生命再生時的法喜

於是，在這感恩的五月天裡
從我迴腸深處　我想
對生命的母親說－
對慧命的母親說－
對天下所有的母親說－
＂一片葉子，包含了它對根的情誼
　一首頌歌，代表了我對您的敬愛
　祝您心中的花永遠盛開
　祝您付出的愛永留人世．＂

重逢

2006-06-05T23:57:00.000-04:00

事情發生在電光火石之間，在春夏交接的季節裡‧‧‧

我深信我倆是一見鍾情。那年，我少不更事，在異國的土地上做著故鄉的夢。而你，始終如斯的你，卻是成長在New Orleans，及萬人寵愛於一身。邂逅的那一日，我不記得風是在哪一個方向吹，我是在夢裡，在你的懷裡依迴。之後，你，在家巷口不遠處定居，我也成了你的常客。但，就像所有美麗的夢一般，一個細雨微飄的清晨，你走了。

我不斷的找，在街角，在大路。困惑的城市裡，我尋找著你的蹤跡。But like all things, it is those we love and should know who elude us. And the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of you, and the stars never rise but I see your radiant eyes shines like Time Square lights. Slowly, painfully, the thought of you fades, the tastes of your essence cedes into a corner of my heart. Days, weeks, monthes passed by, until one day, unexpectedly, I saw you, on the corner between 14th Street and 5Th, I saw you:
"Popeyes Grand Opening Special!"
"A 2-piece chicken meal with one side order and one medium drink for only $2.99!"

啊！我是在夢裡，在夢的懷裡依回‧‧‧‧好吃！

（五月中，與友人於哥大聽佛學演講。事後同于甄及趙伯伯遊於十四街上，見Popeyes Fried Chicken 開張之慶，大喜，特記於此。）

2006-04-03T21:44:00.000-04:00

Another 2-hour wait, another x-ray.....
"Mr. Won, congratulation! It appears that there's no fracture.." O. K.....
"....However, the contusion was pretty severe and your talofibular ligament.." what?
".... is bruised. No hard cast is necessary, instead we'll just put it in a softcast with braces."

Well, in a nutshell, guys, I think I'd sprained my ankle.

It's funny, how things can often take unexpected turns. On Friday night (well actually it was Saturday morning, at 3AM) I wrote 生命會在一天天地過活下轉彎。And then, Saturday came along, I ran into a wall, visited the emergecy room, and gave up my Tibetan trip. Sunday, another doctor called with the news of a possible fracture. At the urge of my mom, I canceled my ticket to Taiwan. Monday, the injury was finally confirmed to be no more than a contusion, and I'd notified my supervisor that I'd work at my current job until the beginning of June. 也罷，"山窮水復疑無路，柳暗花明又一村"

To my friends and family: thanks, thanks for everything.

Is it broken, or not broken?

2006-04-02T13:59:00.000-04:00

Two doctors, two different opinions...
Last night, after a 3-hour, 2-hospital ordeal, I was relieved when the on-duty doctor at the downtown hospital told me that my bones look fine, it's just a pretty serious contusion that should go away in less than a week.

This morning however, another doctor called in with a slightly different diagnosis: "it appears that there's fracture in your left ankle. You'd need to see a orthopedist to determine the extent of the damage. A hard cast may be necessary."

So what shall it be? Well I guess I'll have to find out on Monday.

It's pretty incredible, really, to have your bone broken over basketball. The silver lining, though, is that now I won't have to worry about not having time for my papers and books. I guess everything happens for a reason.

Many thanks for your kind words and care, guys. I'll keep you guys updated.

豬腳粽，豬腳粽，燒豬腳粽！

戀戀風塵 (侯孝賢 movie 隨想, series #2)

2006-04-01T02:22:00.000-05:00

A little music...

長鏡頭下的九份，山洞過了還是山；繁華落盡，九份的礦山走出生活，走入歷史。
阿遠與阿雲，在這裡長大。
相戀於這塊土地上，他們來到城市。
他們很年輕，不知道生命會在一天天地過活下轉彎。
．．．．．．
阿遠要去當兵。
「執子之手，與子偕老』
面對著將來的不可知，他倆只好用著他們唯一知道的方式面對
期待與等待
時間像雨，一滴　兩滴　三滴　滴滴落下來
．．．．．．
從失望到漠然，路有多長，直到番薯落土發芽，才知是生命的歷程。
阿遠從＂兵變＂回復，再次回到家鄉，與阿公一起看番薯田。
阿公說，這批番薯初種，要雨沒雨，又遭颱風。
阿遠說，長大了會很美。
．．．．．．

說起來還是得怪自己。
明明沒那本事，還學人家搞連載，結果，轉眼以匆匆一個月。當時看的感想、心得，忘的忘，丟的丟，剩下的，只有幾個片段的印象。
總結對電影的感想，只有一個字：＂美＂
辛樹芬美，九份美，阿遠和阿雲的愛情美，他們的分離更美。
『淡極使之花更艷的含蓄』
這就是"吃不到的西瓜最甜"的心理情節。

晚安！

葬心

2006-03-28T23:16:00.000-05:00

蝴蝶兒飛去，心亦不在
淒清長夜誰來，拭淚滿腮
是貪點兒依賴，貪一點兒愛
舊緣該了難了，換滿心哀
怎受的住，這頭猜、那邊怪
人言匯成愁海，辛酸難捱
天給的苦，給的災、都不怪
千不該、萬不該，芳華怕孤單
林花兒謝了，連心也埋
他日春燕歸來，身何在 ──「葬心」

阮玲玉從十六歲投入影壇，到二十五歲去世，在不到十年的時間裡，拍了二十九部電影。
二十五歲時因個人不幸的愛情與婚姻問題，以及一些輿論的惡意毀謗，使她憤然吞服安眠藥自殺，並留下了「人言可畏」四字遺言。
一個禮拜前，把電影看了。聽著黃鶯鶯所演唱的「葬心」，心裡很難過。難過一具美好而又速逝的生命；難過她走不出世情的羈絆；難過一整個社會，以它不容異議的力量，否決了一個人的價值；難過，難過是什麼情況，讓一個人別無選擇，只有死。
腦海裡不斷浮現的是阮玲玉演出「新女性」時，“我要活！我要活！“的悽厲叫吼，以及最後一幕當她死意已決，輕歌曼舞聲中，心裡說著〝我好快樂〞
王國維曾經把悲劇分為三種：第一種，「由極惡之人，極其所有之能力，以交構之者」。第二種，「由於盲目的運命者」。第三種，「由於劇中人物之位置及關係而不得不然者；非必有蛇蠍之性質，與意外之變故也，但由普通之人物，普通之境遇，逼之不得不如是；彼等明知其害，交施之而交受之，各加以力而各不任」阮玲玉的遭遇，是第三種，也是最讓人心痛的一種。

「貪一點依賴貪點愛......」唉！

Cafe Lumiere (侯孝賢 movie 隨想, series #1)

2006-02-15T19:04:00.000-05:00

In the past 2 weeks I've started a 侯孝賢 marathon, largely out of boredom, and watched through all of his films that are in my possession (風櫃來的人, 冬冬的假期, 同年往事, 戀戀風塵, 戲夢人生, 悲情城市, 海上花, 最好的時光, and Cafe Lumiere). This post is part of a series of posts that are aim to say something about these films . These are not meant to movie reviews, for reviews are meant to be read by people who hasn't seen the film, has the intention of seeing it, and are in the position to be convince/deter as such. No, these are meant simply to be documentions of feeling; thoughts, emotions at that particular moment, when one is "hit", when the meeting of minds strikes spark.

Cafe Lumiere (台譯：咖啡時光) is a film directed by 侯孝賢. Set in modern Tokyo, the film tells the story of Yoko, a freelance writer witha strong interest in Taiwanese contemporary art. Even without knowing who the director is, one can immediately sense Hou's presence in the first scene, with Yoko hanging her clothes and camera positioned, as in of Hou's films, from a distance, stantionery, much like a silent observer. There is essentially no plot, no intro, no climax, no resolution; everythin flows in a free, nonchalant way, like a mountain stream in the fall. So, my friend, you'd ask, why do I spend time talking about this movie? Strangely, dull as it is, I found a certain sense of resonance with the film. It's like a meditative poetry - slow, graceful, tinged with melancholy for past bygone, hesitant present, and unknown future. These people led small, comparably insignifigant lives, yet beauty resides in their everyday passing. Hajime, Yoko's friend and who is clearly in love with her, is putting forth an elaborate computer project about the city's train system. What is it about train lines that are so fascinating? Because they cross, but never touching.

As usual, I'd like to end the post with a poem. So let's see..... 范仲淹的蘇幕遮好了. 此詞目觸秋色, 描寫著范文正公因景觸情的心事. 前段寫景, '翠' '碧' 兩字道出了秋來蕭瑟. '山映斜陽天接水' 及後兩句是超妙之筆; 山水無言, 卻又包含了千言萬語. 後段說情, 將故國之思及羈旅之痛緊緊扣住. '愁腸' , '相思淚' 一句, 更是款款深情:

蘇幕遮范仲淹

碧雲天
黃葉地
秋色連波
波上寒煙翠
山映斜陽天接水
芳草無情
更在斜陽外

暗鄉魂
追旅思
夜夜除非
好夢留人睡
明月樓高休獨倚
酒入愁腸
化作相思淚

It's been awhile

2006-01-25T23:17:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I last indite (that's a fancy word for write) on this land of yore. The reason, call it procrastination, or reluctance, or simply a genuine form of laziness, I really don't know. I am please to report, that aside from a brief episode of tooth-ache attack (happened last week - 生命中不可承受之痛), life carries on for 窮書生 in it's usually form of genuine happiness in the dew of little things and the occasional spur of magnificent boredom.

So, what to report... Ah, the books. I am devouring my collection at a steady pace for the last couple of weeks. Finished 九九's 跌倒的小綠人和八花九裂, the first book been a colletion of essays and short stories written when the author was at the tender age of 21. The quality of the prose is amazing. Moreover, she combines a deft hand at pacing her stories with impeccable timing and a sense of 無可奈何的無聊 that's reminiscent of 村上春樹. It's certainly not constructive reading in the academic sense - but it's a joy to read, and that's all it matters

Besides that, I also finish two books by Bill Bryson, "A Walk in the Woods" recounts the author's journey through the 2100-mile Appalachian Trail that stretches from Georgia to Maine. The book is dazzled with an assortment of hilarious and unique characters that he met along the way. Bryson, with his acute eyes and an self-deprecating sense of humor, brings out the beauty and fragileness of this trail, and gave due to it's fascinating history. This is my second time reading the book, and it reaffirms my intent that one day, when I am ready, perhaps with a companion by my side, I too would like to walk the trail.

And then there's "Mother Tongue", Bryson's witty look at the evolution of the English language, (recommended for Anny, with her interest in linguistics), John Battelle's "The Search", a book about Google, the search industry, and the world they reshaped. 朱少麟的傷心咖啡店, 陳舜臣的諸葛孔明, 夢枕貘的沙門空海,聖嚴法師的禪學入門,張愛玲的赤地之戀.....The list goes on, but one thing is certain:
.....
Jack Sparrow: [looking at all the swords] Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?
.....

To conclude today's adventure, let's enjoy a poem together. This poem was written anonymously during the Han dynasty. not to be confused with another lyrical poem of the same title, written by 司馬相如 to 卓文君. 中國文人從古至今一直有一種"吃不到的西瓜最甜"的心理情節，從"所謂伊人,在水一方”到"眾裡循他千百度"表現的都是那苦苦追求，觸手不可及的距離美。對月亮的愛戀亦是如此：

鳳求鳳　　　漢　佚名

有美人兮，	見之不忘，
一日不見兮，	思之如狂。
鳳飛遨翔兮，	四海求凰，
無奈佳人兮，	不在東牆。
將琴代語兮，	聊寫衷腸，
願言配德兮，	攜手相將。
何時見許兮，	慰我徬徨，
不得于飛兮，	使我淪亡，
使我淪亡。

Quest to become the Working Stiff

2005-11-23T14:29:00.000-05:00

A quiet day in a quiet office...

Not much to do at work today. Both my supervisor and her supervisor are off to vacation. Updates are done, time-sensitive data QA are done, China Treasury Issues are done....

And I'm blogging, during work, not exacly the stuff of an exemplary employee, but I gotta say, reading Leigo and Riceman's travel log, with a map on the side, sure is fun.

A small announcement:
After 2 months of behavioural interviews, group interviews, preliminary interviews, final interviews, god-knows-what-they-are-thinking interviews, I landed two offers this Monday: An associate position at the Bank of America Global Equity Operation, and a Client development analyst position at Standard and Poor. Both pays well, and may require travel (actually, the BoA position requires a 6-month rotation in Chicogo). I've made up my mind to go to BoA. The position starts next July.

Well, I guess 窮書生 is finally, and irrevocably, becoming a working stiff.

無題

2005-11-23T14:19:00.000-05:00

It was last Sunday, 2 AM, me staring blankly at the computer screen while my law-economic paper staring back at me with it's empty, lifeless gaze, when a revelation came to me - I enjoy opening a coconut more than the coconu itself, and radio spectrum allocation is the worse topic one can pick for a term paper.

'麥亂去睏拉'
我該睡了."

打了一個哈欠
街角的路燈就要熄滅
雨季才剛睡醒

思念的線條
從銀幕上的 X Y Z
變成白紙上的 A B C
點亮所有的白日夢
卻又在沒有你的夜裡醒來

時鐘遺落了時針與分針
我隨著你的名字老去

月出

2005-10-07T00:26:00.000-04:00

深夜......

窗外，垃圾車的聲音在響。沒有〝少女的祈禱〞，只有馬達一陣一陣的呻吟聲。
不是我偏心，說真的台灣連垃圾車都很有水準。

睡不著，翻天龍八部。看著看著，看到三十四回，〝風驟緊縹緲峰頭雲亂〞開頭第一句就是〝猛聽得山腰裡一人叫道："使不得，千萬不可傷了王姑娘，我向你投降便是。"〞

是的，我們的段公子登場了。

以前，總覺得段譽是個傻子中的奇杷。人家王姑娘擺明了不要你，他卻可以跟著走過大江南北，走過武林風雨，走過千劫萬難，到最後，走到了一口孤井裡。王文華在＂蛋白質女孩＂，把男人分成蒼蠅，鯊魚，狼。段譽真可成為千古蒼蠅的模範。

第二次看，不知道為什麼，卻對他的痴，他的真，他的執著，起了一種欽佩之心。

舊地重遊，碰到了一個老朋友，’月出’：

月出皎兮，佼人僚兮，舒窈糾兮，勞心悄兮。
月出皓兮，佼人懰兮，舒懮受兮，勞心慅兮。
月出照兮，佼人燎兮，舒夭紹兮，勞心慘兮。

此詩出自於詩經，描寫詩人對心上人的無限思念。全詩分三段，反覆以月光之色比喻美人的姿態，並在每段的後兩句，表達自己的相思之苦。月光皎潔，佳人娉婷，詩人心中愁思難舒，憂心悄悄。金庸在天龍八部裡第三十四回安插了這首詩，由段譽口中說出，表達了他對王語嫣的深深愛戀。

美人如月，可惜月光不為我照，
悄兮！
慅兮！
慘兮！

我該睡了。

A month-long absence...

2005-10-05T01:18:00.000-04:00

I dislike emotional investment of any kind.

That doesn't mean I don't do it. As a matter of fact I'm very much emotionally connected with the people around me, the society and the culture.

But if given the option, I'd rather spare the trouble of self examination and the thought process.

Which is why I felt a natural resistance toward writing, especially something as intimate as diary or a web log.

That, my friends, is my bona fide reason for the month-long absence.

Of-course, there're other things going on in that 4-week span besides thoughtless indulgence. For one, my favorite aunt came to visit from Taiwan. Until she came, I never realized how much I still missed my father. It was also during this visit that I found out my grandfather was once a covert agent working for the Nationalist Party during WWII! Now that's cool stuff!

I also finished Sex and the City season 3, 4 and 5. You may ask what self-respecting young man of 22 would fall for a trite, often repetitious, melodrama about 4 near middle-aged women with their dysfuntional relationships. The show is special, for me at least, in that it provided a glimpse of New York that I never knew existed, a kaleidoscope of night lifes, restaurants, and city tidbits. In a few instances the show can also be quite touching, such the 4th season finale "I hear NY".
The insertion of "moon river" into plotline is, to me, a master stroke. I fell in the love with the song and Audrey Hepburn when I first heard it in "Breakfast at Tiffany". The image of her holding a guitar, sitting on the windowpane, singing in her soft, elf-like voice mesmerized me.

Well, to wrap up, here's another thing I've done in that time span - a poem. To the pestering few (and that means you two, Mr. Eatgod and Mrs. Leigo) the title does not refer to anyone in particular but an ideal - the metaphysical girl, if you will.

一首詩 / 健

我該如何為你寫一首詩
就像深淵裡的黑暗
該如何面對光的侵犯
受孕成我對妳情感上的雛型

我沒有盤古神力
能在瞬息間
將光暗分開
我必須醞釀自己的忐忑
然後將每一下心跳
都掏出來擺進格子裏
以作為憑證

海蚌磨沙的痛
形而上的折磨
我獨自在夢海裡發痴
為了給親愛的你美麗的珍珠
卻在沙灘上平添了無數的相思字

最後還是讓
我終於找到我骨裏的骨
行間裏的行間
我肉中的肉
字中的字
我要叫它作『詩』
因為它要從我的感情出來

但還是要問
我該如何為妳寫一首詩

－寫於初秋，季節轉換之時

Seven X Seven

2005-09-05T22:15:00.000-04:00

Following foot steps of my goofy friends, here's my list, (subject to change at any time):

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Find the love of my life
2. Learn to play an instrument (preferably a guitar)
3. Write something that I can truly been moved by
4. Finish the Appalachia Trail (in one shot)
5. Buy a real Japanese Katana
6. Learn to drift
7. Been part of a historical moment

Seven things you can't do:
1. Not bubbling out stupid stuff when talking to girls
2. Be sensitive to other's feelings
3. Drink without getting drunk
4. Live in a room without books
5. Talk precisely and to-the-point
6. Stay within speed limit
7. Watch through any kind of reality show

Seven things you can do:
1. Recite poetry
2. Build computers from individual parts, overclocking CPU and memory
3. Skip both breakfast and lunch
4. Play pingpong
5. Not watching TV for more than 2 weeks.
6. Spend a whole day with my sister
7. Finish a bag of candy and then walk more than 80 blocks to prove a point

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. Grace
2. Intelligence
3. Kindness
4. Big round eyes and long hair
5. A vertical sin/2 curvature
6. Capasity for self deprecation
7. Nice to my family

Seven things you say most:
1, Let's see...
2. Oh crap!
3. 對 (to myself)
4. I would imagine...
5. 不是吧!
6. So be it
7. 　ㄨㄚ靠!

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Audrey Hepburn
2. 辛樹芬
3. 陳好
4. Kate Winslet
5. Winona Ryder
6. 賈靖雯
7. Sophie Marceau

Seven people you want to take this quiz:
1. John
2. Danny
3. Peggy and HaiJiang
4. TC gang (most did)
5. My parents
6. Anyone who read James Herriot and liked it
7. My cousins

偷得浮生一日閒

2005-08-28T22:11:00.000-04:00

We had a fun day at Lifen S/G's house.

Basketball, frisbee, swimming follow by steam room.....sprinkle with light refreshments (Eugenie's almond tofu - I must have finished half of that bowl) and two excellent meals - although our original beach plan was scratched, the day never felt amiss.

I could go on, but the day is getting late, and with my Hungarian national debt project looming ever nearer like a wisp of black clouds (a working man's Monday - it sure isn't much different from a schoolboy's Monday :), I shall retired, but with this little piece of poem, written by Khalil Gibran, a Lebanese poet who lived in the late 19th century New York, dedicate to friends old and new, in 19th century as well as 21st century New York:

"And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

一封以前寄出的信

2005-08-27T22:02:00.000-04:00

有時候想一想，自己在某些方面，是蠻ＧＵ ＭＯ的。這封信是在許久以前，寫給一位女孩，邀一起看電影的。如今，往事已不復，拿出來，搏君一笑，也未嘗不是件美事。（至於結果，這用腳想也知道，唉！不足道也，不足道也。）

Dear xxx:

我這個人一向是有話就說(的相反)
但今晚,不知是因為那半桶Haagen Dazs所帶來的sugar rush
又或是不甘於這不灰不白的生活
又或者是因為天上的那一輪明月
我決定抱著荊軻刺秦王的決心．．．
不對不對不對
應該說是拿肉饅頭打狗的覺悟．．．
錯錯錯錯
就說跳紅溪河的勇氣吧
我想對妳說

我．．．

我真的．．．

我真的有United Artist的優待票。

無論你是老人卻幼稚拒絕長大
還是正值學齡期間兒童如同我一樣
你都不該拒絕這能滿足你那童年被強迫看白雪公主的所遺留下創傷
其實我本人覺得白雪公主還蠻好看的
但這不是重點
我想強調的是
你是不該用理智拒絕我這動人的誘惑
想想學校裡除了教你用功用空再用功
還有什麼
那就是正誠情簡
但那也不是重點
這只是讓同住紐約的朋友輕鬆一下
用高雅的姿勢走進戲院

心動了嗎？

還是你一看到寄件者: chhpotter 就直接刪除
錯過這''與我同行一日遊''而後悔
這個行程最大的特點就是你可以決定你要去哪
甚至可以不去看電...
不行
看電影
這我堅持
名稱更動''與我同行看電影之後,你才可以任意活動之一日遊''
走八
朋友
我已經粉久沒看到妳了
我還是很書呆
再說你已經看我廢言那麼久
別再相信那草率做的不理智決定不去的念頭
忘掉,刪除,拿去資源回收...

告訴我你什麼時候有空八

等你ㄡ~

P.S.
不管你想不想去

我都想告訴你

我...

我真的...

我真的是健豪

真的

還有很想卻無法去的人請把這封信好好收藏

我是想著你

才寫出來的。

Chien

關於讀書的二三事

2005-08-26T23:30:00.000-04:00

一　以閱讀為職業是一件好事嗎？當讀書成為一種職業時，還能保持原有的樂趣嗎？作為一個自得其趣的書蟲，閱讀自始至終，追求得是好奇的滿足。而好奇的前提是，不能執著。「愛讀書，不求甚解，每有會意，便興然忘食。」與有目的性的專業，似乎背道而馳。所以，專業讀書人有，但你說專業的讀書興趣，那是無可能ｅｈ代誌！

二　與其說人生像跳舞，不如說人生像摔跤，因為它需要我們立定腳跟，準備迎接不可預見的每一攻擊。」古羅馬哲學家皇帝的雋語。閱讀大概也是這樣，你得用心出力，才能獲得對打，乃至壓制作者的樂趣。假如你一無主見軟趴趴的，那麼，你只能「跳舞」，被作者帶著團團轉，頭昏眼花，分不清東西南北，於是只能說：好！好！

三　書痴是天生的嗎？倒也不一定。「痴」如果不是病，那就另當別論。如果是病，則先天不足，後天失調，都有可能。大體而言，「痴」介乎病與不病之間，要定論，難也，難也。基本上，書痴者，在於佔有。觀之不足，而必為我之所有；數本之不足，而必朝夕不捨，冀望擁有全部。明明有了平裝本，看到精裝初版加簽名，價錢多少？三天的薪水？便宜，買！過一陣子又出了限量加長推薦版，how much? a week's paycheck? 爽　這個月不吃早飯！　（註：此例僅供君參考，是否真有其人，無須深入）

讀完這篇ｐｏｓｔ的大爺們，小弟由衷的感激。癈言一篇，居然有人賞目，實是人生一件美事。
最後，詩詞時間。這次在營火晚會上朗誦的詩，帶給大家欣賞：

An arrow and a song by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I shot an arrow into the air
It fell to earth, I knew not where
For so swiftly it flew that the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air
It fell to earth, I knw not where
For who has sight so keen and strong
That it can follow the flight of song

Long long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke
And the song, from beginning to end
I found again in the heart of a friend.

We are the beach boys!!!

2005-08-08T21:43:00.000-04:00

Click here for more pictures

Yet another Sunday waking up at 7:30am.... Mad alive it feels!

晴天, 白雲, 蔚藍的海, 微鹹的空氣......
好久沒來海邊了
在美女阿姨的帶領下, 跟著眾表弟妹們 (還有海江哥哥跟美女姑姑) 一群人浩浩蕩蕩的來到 South Hampton. 距離所帶來的空間, 使這裡少了其它海灘的擁嚷. 妹妹尤其玩的開心. 一開始不敢下水的她, 後來玩的比誰都起勁.

這一趟的另一個收穫是見到了姑姑跟阿姨的住所. "結盧在人境而無車馬喧", 沒有海邊豪宅的欇人亮麗, 卻更令人心嚮往之.

這一次, 帶給各位一首自己兩年前試填的詞. 那個時候住宿舍, 迷上了 Jelly Bean. 一個月亮很圓的晚上, 大考剛過, 了然一身. 在吞了一整包 Starburst Jelly bean (one of those 7-ounce bags), 決定出遊. 走到了四十幾街, 在 United Nation 前的小公園坐下, 看著東河映月, 多少有點感動:

浪淘沙
風驟暗香殘，春意闌珊。城東河畔小公園，星影稀疏明月照，隻影憑欄。寒意透薄杉，無限儼然。佳人倩影映窗簾。異鄉夜夜，仰望更思意。

胡姬貌如花

2005-08-03T00:59:00.000-04:00

(This was originally intended as a response to Jimmy and Lei's comment. But I figure given its apparent length, I may as well post it.)

A just question, Jimmy. Lei, come on, give the man a break. I take Jimmy , like me, only interests in Hu Ji on a intellectual level. (As it is, so far all of my romantic encounters are confined strictly on the page.) Not that it's completely devoid of suspicion, since 胡姬酒肆 is quite literally what we refer to now-a-days as 酒家. Although it should be stressed that the primary functon of these establishments is to sell wine. 胡姬 refers to those women working in parlors, salons, and bars in the city of 長安, during the golden age of Tang Dynasty. Broadly speaking, they were not Chinese in the sense that they weren't of Han origin. "Hu" refers to the region of central Asia, near present-day Tokmak and Kyrgyzstan (Li Bai, it's proposed by many Libai scholars, was probably borned in this region.) 長安 at the time was perhaps the most international city in the world. Students, merchants, monks, and travelers from Japan, middle east, India, central Europe and various places mingled freely in the city. So it's safe to say these 胡姬 probably look more like Russians that Chinese, which helps to explain their apparent popularity among the gentry class.

To wrap up, here's another poem by Li Bai about 胡姬. To read Li Bai is to experience his dashing personality at first hand. After more than a thousand and 200 years, it still feels as lively as ever:

"琴奏龍門之綠桐 , 玉壺美酒清若空 . 催弦拂柱與君飲 , 看朱成碧顏始紅 . 胡姬貌如花 , 當壚笑春風 . 笑春風 , 舞羅衣 , 君今不醉將安歸 ? "

Flushing Day Trippers!

2005-07-31T19:35:00.000-04:00

Another Sunday waking up at 7:30 or earlier. I miss sleeping late, or I think I do.

Today Tzu Chi is helding its annual Free clinic in Flushing Sherator Hotel, and me, Big sister Anny, "little friend"Eugenie and Angelina have been summon to man the exit/complimentary-gift booth. Besides a few mix-up with some procedures in the beginning, everything went smoothly. Free clinics, if not properly planned, can often bring inconvenience and iritations to patients as well as volunteer workers. Today's event is a success in that doctors, patients, and volunteer workers were all able to benefit from these interactions while still contributed to the overall utility of the whole system. Economists have an unnatural fondness for efficiency -_-, and today is considered a quite efficient day. Mede tashi mede tashi!

For this post, I decide to use this poem because it reflects a certain sense of boldness and nonchalance, that are so much a characteric of youthfulness, which is what we have, or should have (note: It's youthfulness and not youth, for some of us are, relatively speaking, not young :)

武陵少年金市東
銀鞍白馬渡春風
落花踏盡游何處
笑入胡姬酒肆中

Chien

Some pictures:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/chhpotter/my_photos

A melody remembered....

2005-07-24T22:55:00.000-04:00

Reading a Friend's blog, I came across a post about a familiar song.
It's called Kurumi.
It brought back images of 4 guys, way past their prime, trying one last time to dream...
In the end, nothing seems changed;
the creases in their brows did not lessen, their small enterprise failed and everyone went home, respectively, facing the same mundane liives as before.
But something did changed
You could detect, in their fading smiles, a shift of mood, an elation, a fulfillment of a sort.
It's a beautiful image to behold.

Anothing thing...
I've decided to add, along with each of my post, a poem. 'cause I figure nothing can brighten up a shabby abode such as this better than a few lines of crafted jewels from masters of old.
Today, we'll start with this:

彷彿兮若輕雲之蔽月 , 飄飄兮若流風之回雪 .
遠而望之, 皎若太陽升朝霞 ; 迫而察之 , 灼若芙蕖出淥波 .

It's a passage from 曹植's 洛神賦. One of these days, I shall write about the sad but beautiful story behind this poem.
"Pangs of unrequited love", for a poet, nothing more inspiring than this.

Wedding deja vu!

2005-07-24T01:09:00.000-04:00

Another weekend, another wedding....
And not only that, it's hosted by the same MC, with the same DJs! And it's the same set of music, gone and through..... talking about coincidentce! Even so, I gotta admit it's a fun night. Wedding, to me, besides been a joyful occasion, is also a meditative experience.

2005-07-18T21:01:00.000-04:00

A year long absence....
Let it be known that it's Monday, July 18th, 2005. I am 22 years ago, and I've just attend two of my best friends' wedding. It was a special day, and a lovely day. and I wish them both, happiness and serenity, in this life and the next, until all eternity.

2004-01-07T01:14:00.000-05:00

Ahh, my first blog. A new beginning.
And as always, a new beginning deserves a grand intro, let's start with the last stanza of Frost's "Roads not Taken":

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood and I-
I took the one less travel by
And it has made all the difference."

Hopely one day I'll be able to look back and wonder at my life the same way he does in this poem.