A month-long absence...

I dislike emotional investment of any kind.

That doesn't mean I don't do it. As a matter of fact I'm very much emotionally connected with the people around me, the society and the culture.

But if given the option, I'd rather spare the trouble of self examination and the thought process.

Which is why I felt a natural resistance toward writing, especially something as intimate as diary or a web log.

That, my friends, is my bona fide reason for the month-long absence.

Of-course, there're other things going on in that 4-week span besides thoughtless indulgence. For one, my favorite aunt came to visit from Taiwan. Until she came, I never realized how much I still missed my father. It was also during this visit that I found out my grandfather was once a covert agent working for the Nationalist Party during WWII! Now that's cool stuff!

I also finished Sex and the City season 3, 4 and 5. You may ask what self-respecting young man of 22 would fall for a trite, often repetitious, melodrama about 4 near middle-aged women with their dysfuntional relationships. The show is special, for me at least, in that it provided a glimpse of New York that I never knew existed, a kaleidoscope of night lifes, restaurants, and city tidbits. In a few instances the show can also be quite touching, such the 4th season finale "I hear NY".
The insertion of "moon river" into plotline is, to me, a master stroke. I fell in the love with the song and Audrey Hepburn when I first heard it in "Breakfast at Tiffany". The image of her holding a guitar, sitting on the windowpane, singing in her soft, elf-like voice mesmerized me.

Well, to wrap up, here's another thing I've done in that time span - a poem. To the pestering few (and that means you two, Mr. Eatgod and Mrs. Leigo) the title does not refer to anyone in particular but an ideal - the metaphysical girl, if you will.

一首詩 / 健

我該如何為你寫一首詩
就像深淵裡的黑暗
該如何面對光的侵犯
受孕成我對妳情感上的雛型

我沒有盤古神力
能在瞬息間
將光暗分開
我必須醞釀自己的忐忑
然後將每一下心跳
都掏出來擺進格子裏
以作為憑證

海蚌磨沙的痛
形而上的折磨
我獨自在夢海裡發痴
為了給親愛的你美麗的珍珠
卻在沙灘上平添了無數的相思字

最後還是讓
我終於找到我骨裏的骨
行間裏的行間
我肉中的肉
字中的字
我要叫它作『詩』
因為它要從我的感情出來

但還是要問
我該如何為妳寫一首詩

－寫於初秋，季節轉換之時