Quest to become the Working Stiff

A quiet day in a quiet office...

Not much to do at work today. Both my supervisor and her supervisor are off to vacation. Updates are done, time-sensitive data QA are done, China Treasury Issues are done....

And I'm blogging, during work, not exacly the stuff of an exemplary employee, but I gotta say, reading Leigo and Riceman's travel log, with a map on the side, sure is fun.

A small announcement:
After 2 months of behavioural interviews, group interviews, preliminary interviews, final interviews, god-knows-what-they-are-thinking interviews, I landed two offers this Monday: An associate position at the Bank of America Global Equity Operation, and a Client development analyst position at Standard and Poor. Both pays well, and may require travel (actually, the BoA position requires a 6-month rotation in Chicogo). I've made up my mind to go to BoA. The position starts next July.

Well, I guess 窮書生 is finally, and irrevocably, becoming a working stiff.

無題

It was last Sunday, 2 AM, me staring blankly at the computer screen while my law-economic paper staring back at me with it's empty, lifeless gaze, when a revelation came to me - I enjoy opening a coconut more than the coconu itself, and radio spectrum allocation is the worse topic one can pick for a term paper.

'麥亂 去睏拉'
我該睡了."

打了一個哈欠
街角的路燈就要熄滅
雨季才剛睡醒

思念的線條
從銀幕上的 X Y Z
變成白紙上的 A B C
點亮所有的白日夢
卻又在沒有你的夜裡醒來

時鐘遺落了時針與分針
我 隨著你的名字老去

月出

深夜......

窗外，垃圾車的聲音在響。沒有〝少女的祈禱〞，只有馬達一陣一陣的呻吟聲。
不是我偏心，說真的台灣連垃圾車都很有水準。

睡不著，翻天龍八部。看著看著，看到三十四回，〝風驟緊 縹緲峰頭雲亂〞開頭第一句就是〝猛聽得山腰裡一人叫道："使不得，千萬不可傷了王姑娘，我向你投降便是。"〞

是的，我們的段公子登場了。

以前，總覺得段譽是個傻子中的奇杷。人家王姑娘擺明了不要你，他卻可以跟著走過大江南北，走過武林風雨，走過千劫萬難，到最後，走到了一口孤井裡。王文華在＂蛋白質女孩＂，把男人分成蒼蠅，鯊魚，狼。段譽真可成為千古蒼蠅的模範。

第二次看，不知道為什麼，卻對他的痴，他的真，他的執著，起了一種欽佩之心。

舊地重遊，碰到了一個老朋友，’月出’：

月出皎兮，佼人僚兮，舒窈糾兮，勞心悄兮。
月出皓兮，佼人懰兮，舒懮受兮，勞心慅兮。
月出照兮，佼人燎兮，舒夭紹兮，勞心慘兮。

此詩出自於詩經，描寫詩人對心上人的無限思念。全詩分三段，反覆以月光之色比喻美人的姿態，並在每段的後兩句，表達自己的相思之苦。月光皎潔，佳人娉婷，詩人心中愁思難舒，憂心悄悄。金庸在天龍八部裡第三十四回安插了這首詩，由段譽口中說出，表達了他對王語嫣的深深愛戀。

美人如月，可惜月光不為我照，
悄兮！
慅兮！
慘兮！

我該睡了。

A month-long absence...

I dislike emotional investment of any kind.

That doesn't mean I don't do it. As a matter of fact I'm very much emotionally connected with the people around me, the society and the culture.

But if given the option, I'd rather spare the trouble of self examination and the thought process.

Which is why I felt a natural resistance toward writing, especially something as intimate as diary or a web log.

That, my friends, is my bona fide reason for the month-long absence.

Of-course, there're other things going on in that 4-week span besides thoughtless indulgence. For one, my favorite aunt came to visit from Taiwan. Until she came, I never realized how much I still missed my father. It was also during this visit that I found out my grandfather was once a covert agent working for the Nationalist Party during WWII! Now that's cool stuff!

I also finished Sex and the City season 3, 4 and 5. You may ask what self-respecting young man of 22 would fall for a trite, often repetitious, melodrama about 4 near middle-aged women with their dysfuntional relationships. The show is special, for me at least, in that it provided a glimpse of New York that I never knew existed, a kaleidoscope of night lifes, restaurants, and city tidbits. In a few instances the show can also be quite touching, such the 4th season finale "I hear NY".
The insertion of "moon river" into plotline is, to me, a master stroke. I fell in the love with the song and Audrey Hepburn when I first heard it in "Breakfast at Tiffany". The image of her holding a guitar, sitting on the windowpane, singing in her soft, elf-like voice mesmerized me.

Well, to wrap up, here's another thing I've done in that time span - a poem. To the pestering few (and that means you two, Mr. Eatgod and Mrs. Leigo) the title does not refer to anyone in particular but an ideal - the metaphysical girl, if you will.

一首詩 / 健

我該如何為你寫一首詩
就像深淵裡的黑暗
該如何面對光的侵犯
受孕成我對妳情感上的雛型

我沒有盤古神力
能在瞬息間
將光暗分開
我必須醞釀自己的忐忑
然後將每一下心跳
都掏出來擺進格子裏
以作為憑證

海蚌磨沙的痛
形而上的折磨
我獨自在夢海裡發痴
為了給親愛的你美麗的珍珠
卻在沙灘上平添了無數的相思字

最後還是讓
我終於找到我骨裏的骨
行間裏的行間
我肉中的肉
字中的字
我要叫它作『詩』
因為它要從我的感情出來

但還是要問
我該如何為妳寫一首詩

－寫於初秋，季節轉換之時

Seven X Seven

Following foot steps of my goofy friends, here's my list, (subject to change at any time):

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Find the love of my life
2. Learn to play an instrument (preferably a guitar)
3. Write something that I can truly been moved by
4. Finish the Appalachia Trail (in one shot)
5. Buy a real Japanese Katana
6. Learn to drift
7. Been part of a historical moment

Seven things you can't do:
1. Not bubbling out stupid stuff when talking to girls
2. Be sensitive to other's feelings
3. Drink without getting drunk
4. Live in a room without books
5. Talk precisely and to-the-point
6. Stay within speed limit
7. Watch through any kind of reality show

Seven things you can do:
1. Recite poetry
2. Build computers from individual parts, overclocking CPU and memory
3. Skip both breakfast and lunch
4. Play pingpong
5. Not watching TV for more than 2 weeks.
6. Spend a whole day with my sister
7. Finish a bag of candy and then walk more than 80 blocks to prove a point

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. Grace
2. Intelligence
3. Kindness
4. Big round eyes and long hair
5. A vertical sin/2 curvature
6. Capasity for self deprecation
7. Nice to my family

Seven things you say most:
1, Let's see...
2. Oh crap!
3. 對 (to myself)
4. I would imagine...
5. 不是吧!
6. So be it
7. 　ㄨㄚ 靠!

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Audrey Hepburn
2. 辛樹芬
3. 陳好
4. Kate Winslet
5. Winona Ryder
6. 賈靖雯
7. Sophie Marceau

Seven people you want to take this quiz:
1. John
2. Danny
3. Peggy and HaiJiang
4. TC gang (most did)
5. My parents
6. Anyone who read James Herriot and liked it
7. My cousins

偷得浮生一日閒

We had a fun day at Lifen S/G's house.

Basketball, frisbee, swimming follow by steam room.....sprinkle with light refreshments (Eugenie's almond tofu - I must have finished half of that bowl) and two excellent meals - although our original beach plan was scratched, the day never felt amiss.

I could go on, but the day is getting late, and with my Hungarian national debt project looming ever nearer like a wisp of black clouds (a working man's Monday - it sure isn't much different from a schoolboy's Monday :), I shall retired, but with this little piece of poem, written by Khalil Gibran, a Lebanese poet who lived in the late 19th century New York, dedicate to friends old and new, in 19th century as well as 21st century New York:

"And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

一封以前寄出的信

有時候想一想，自己在某些方面，是蠻ＧＵ ＭＯ的。這封信是在許久以前，寫給一位女孩，邀一起看電影的。如今，往事已不復，拿出來，搏君一笑，也未嘗不是件美事。（至於結果，這用腳想也知道，唉！不足道也，不足道也。）

Dear xxx:

我這個人一向是有話就說(的相反)
但今晚,不知是因為那半桶Haagen Dazs所帶來的sugar rush
又或是不甘於這不灰不白的生活
又或者是因為天上的那一輪明月
我決定 抱著荊軻刺秦王的決心．．．
不對 不對 不對
應該說是拿肉饅頭打狗的覺悟．．．
錯 錯 錯 錯
就說跳紅溪河的勇氣吧
我想對妳說

我­．．．

我真的．．．

我真的有United Artist的優待票。

無論你是老人卻幼稚拒絕長大
還是正值學齡期間兒童如同我一樣
你都不該拒絕這能滿足你那童年被強迫看白雪公主的所遺留下創傷
其實我本人覺得白雪公主還蠻好看的
但這不是重點
我想強調的是
你是不該用理智拒絕我這動人的誘惑
想想學校裡除了教你用功用空再用功
還有什麼
那就是正誠情簡
但那也不是重點
這只是讓同住紐約的朋友輕鬆一下
用高雅的姿勢走進戲院

心動了嗎？

還是你一看到 寄件者: chhpotter 就直接刪除
錯過這''與我同行一日遊''而後悔
這個行程最大的特點就是你可以決定你要去哪
甚至可以不去看電...
不行
看電影
這我堅持
名稱更動''與我同行看電影之後,你才可以任意活動之一日遊''
走八
朋友
我已經粉久沒看到妳了
我還是很書呆
再說你已經看我廢言那麼久
別再相信那草率做的不理智決定不去的念頭
忘掉,刪除,拿去資源回收...

告訴我你什麼時候有空八

等你ㄡ~

P.S.
不管你想不想去

我都想告訴你

我...

我真的...

我真的是健豪

真的

還有很想卻無法去的人請把這封信好好收藏

我是想著你

才寫出來的。

Chien

關於讀書的二三事

一　 以閱讀為職業是一件好事嗎？當讀書成為一種職業時，還能保持原有的樂趣嗎？作為一個自得其趣的書蟲，閱讀自始至終，追求得是好奇的滿足。而好奇的前提是， 不能執著。「愛讀書，不求甚解，每有會意，便興然忘食。」與有目的性的專業，似乎背道而馳。所以，專業讀書人有，但你說專業的讀書興趣，那是無可能ｅｈ代 誌！

二　與其說人生像跳舞，不如說人生像摔跤，因為它需要我們立定腳跟，準備迎 接不可預見的每一攻擊。」古羅馬哲學家皇帝的雋語。閱讀大概也是這樣，你得用心出力，才能獲得對打，乃至壓制作者的樂趣。假如你一無主見軟趴趴的，那麼， 你只能「跳舞」，被作者帶著團團轉，頭昏眼花，分不清東西南北，於是只能說：好！好！

三 　書痴是天生的嗎？倒也不一定。「痴」如果不是病，那就另當別論。如果是病，則先天不足，後天失調，都有可能。大體而言，「痴」介乎病與不病之間，要定論， 難也，難也。基本上，書痴者，在於佔有。觀之不足，而必為我之所有；數本之不足，而必朝夕不捨，冀望擁有全部。明明有了平裝本，看到精裝初版加簽名，價錢 多少？三天的薪水？便宜，買！過一陣子又出了限量加長推薦版，how much? a week's paycheck? 爽　這個月不吃早飯！　（註：此例僅供君參考，是否真有其人，無須深入）

讀完這篇ｐｏｓｔ的大爺們，小弟由衷的感激。癈言一篇，居然有人賞目，實是人生一件美事。
最後，詩詞時間。這次在營火晚會上朗誦的詩，帶給大家欣賞：

An arrow and a song by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I shot an arrow into the air
It fell to earth, I knew not where
For so swiftly it flew that the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air
It fell to earth, I knw not where
For who has sight so keen and strong
That it can follow the flight of song

Long long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke
And the song, from beginning to end
I found again in the heart of a friend.

We are the beach boys!!!

Click here for more pictures

Yet another Sunday waking up at 7:30am.... Mad alive it feels!


晴天, 白雲, 蔚藍的海, 微鹹的空氣......
好久沒來海邊了
在美女阿姨的帶領下, 跟著眾表弟妹們 (還有海江哥哥跟美女姑姑) 一群人浩浩蕩蕩的來到 South Hampton. 距離所帶來的空間, 使這裡少了其它海灘的擁嚷. 妹妹尤其玩的開心. 一開始不敢下水的她, 後來玩的比誰都起勁.

這一趟的另一個收穫是見到了姑姑跟阿姨的住所. "結盧在人境 而無車馬喧", 沒有海邊豪宅的欇人亮麗, 卻更令人心嚮往之.

這 一次, 帶給各位一首自己兩年前試填的詞. 那個時候住宿舍, 迷上了 Jelly Bean. 一個月亮很圓的晚上, 大考剛過, 了然一身. 在吞了一整包 Starburst Jelly bean (one of those 7-ounce bags), 決定出遊. 走到了四十幾街, 在 United Nation 前的小公園坐下, 看著東河映月, 多少有點感動:

浪淘沙
風驟暗香殘，春意闌珊。 城東河畔小公園，星影稀疏明月照， 隻影憑欄。 寒意透薄杉，無限儼然。 佳人倩影映窗簾。異鄉夜夜， 仰望更思意。

胡姬貌如花

(This was originally intended as a response to Jimmy and Lei's comment. But I figure given its apparent length, I may as well post it.)

A just question, Jimmy. Lei, come on, give the man a break. I take Jimmy , like me, only interests in Hu Ji on a intellectual level. (As it is, so far all of my romantic encounters are confined strictly on the page.) Not that it's completely devoid of suspicion, since 胡姬酒肆 is quite literally what we refer to now-a-days as 酒家. Although it should be stressed that the primary functon of these establishments is to sell wine. 胡姬 refers to those women working in parlors, salons, and bars in the city of 長安, during the golden age of Tang Dynasty. Broadly speaking, they were not Chinese in the sense that they weren't of Han origin. "Hu" refers to the region of central Asia, near present-day Tokmak and Kyrgyzstan (Li Bai, it's proposed by many Libai scholars, was probably borned in this region.) 長安 at the time was perhaps the most international city in the world. Students, merchants, monks, and travelers from Japan, middle east, India, central Europe and various places mingled freely in the city. So it's safe to say these 胡姬 probably look more like Russians that Chinese, which helps to explain their apparent popularity among the gentry class.

To wrap up, here's another poem by Li Bai about 胡姬. To read Li Bai is to experience his dashing personality at first hand. After more than a thousand and 200 years, it still feels as lively as ever:

"琴奏龍門之綠桐 , 玉壺美酒清若空 . 催弦拂柱與君飲 , 看朱成碧顏始紅 . 胡姬貌如花 , 當壚笑春風 . 笑春風 , 舞羅衣 , 君今不醉將安歸 ? "

Flushing Day Trippers!

Another Sunday waking up at 7:30 or earlier. I miss sleeping late, or I think I do.

Today Tzu Chi is helding its annual Free clinic in Flushing Sherator Hotel, and me, Big sister Anny, "little friend"Eugenie and Angelina have been summon to man the exit/complimentary-gift booth. Besides a few mix-up with some procedures in the beginning, everything went smoothly. Free clinics, if not properly planned, can often bring inconvenience and iritations to patients as well as volunteer workers. Today's event is a success in that doctors, patients, and volunteer workers were all able to benefit from these interactions while still contributed to the overall utility of the whole system. Economists have an unnatural fondness for efficiency -_-, and today is considered a quite efficient day. Mede tashi mede tashi!


For this post, I decide to use this poem because it reflects a certain sense of boldness and nonchalance, that are so much a characteric of youthfulness, which is what we have, or should have (note: It's youthfulness and not youth, for some of us are, relatively speaking, not young :)

武陵少年金市東
銀鞍白馬渡春風
落花踏盡游何處
笑入胡姬酒肆中

Chien

Some pictures:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/chhpotter/my_photos

A melody remembered....

Reading a Friend's blog, I came across a post about a familiar song.
It's called Kurumi.
It brought back images of 4 guys, way past their prime, trying one last time to dream...
In the end, nothing seems changed;
the creases in their brows did not lessen, their small enterprise failed and everyone went home, respectively, facing the same mundane liives as before.
But something did changed
You could detect, in their fading smiles, a shift of mood, an elation, a fulfillment of a sort.
It's a beautiful image to behold.

Anothing thing...
I've decided to add, along with each of my post, a poem. 'cause I figure nothing can brighten up a shabby abode such as this better than a few lines of crafted jewels from masters of old.
Today, we'll start with this:

彷彿兮若輕雲之蔽月 , 飄飄兮若流風之回雪 .
遠而望之, 皎若太陽升朝霞 ; 迫而察之 , 灼若芙蕖出淥波 .

It's a passage from 曹植's 洛神賦. One of these days, I shall write about the sad but beautiful story behind this poem.
"Pangs of unrequited love", for a poet, nothing more inspiring than this.

Wedding deja vu!

Another weekend, another wedding....
And not only that, it's hosted by the same MC, with the same DJs! And it's the same set of music, gone and through..... talking about coincidentce! Even so, I gotta admit it's a fun night. Wedding, to me, besides been a joyful occasion, is also a meditative experience.

A year long absence....
Let it be known that it's Monday, July 18th, 2005. I am 22 years ago, and I've just attend two of my best friends' wedding. It was a special day, and a lovely day. and I wish them both, happiness and serenity, in this life and the next, until all eternity.